STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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