Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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