Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize