Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize