8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
