Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
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You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
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He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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