Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
