I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He? As in you personified your dick?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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