well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
