Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
