at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
