If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
