DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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