Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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