Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
