"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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