I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
