What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
