Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
