woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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