The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
