I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
