have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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