Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
