Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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