haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
