You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
