you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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