Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
