I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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