I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
