Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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