Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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