OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
