The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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