Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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