what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
