haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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