Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
