i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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