508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
