Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
