I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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