Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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