The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
