Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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