roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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