So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
