I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
