why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize