I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
