Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
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