i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
