Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
