I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
operation harelip BJ is a go
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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