She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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