i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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