no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
