you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
