Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
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I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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