People in love make me want to vomit
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
