I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
