That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
