Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
